Pipe Dreams

 It's days like this that I think of you harder than I normally do. I mean all the bright red hearts and ads in my face and every Twitter feed how do I stop myself? I don't want to, anyways. 

So stranger, we're out in the universe, walking our own paths. We're living; different careers, hobbies, lifestyles. Our backgrounds don't even come close. Yours, a silver spoon in the mouth and while I live hand to mouth. Different journeys but on to the same things. We're seeking to connect at some point. Companionship, to belong, be wanted and understood. 

Friend, our priorities align and maybe that's why our paths crossed. After 'nice to meet you', and some jokes, we hit it off. We talk daily. We have a couple of decades to catch up on and time and energy is all we got for that. This is fun. Your company is great and you seem to laugh a lot. Oh, did I tell you about your gorgeous smile? Your subtle touches on my palm. Your goodbye hugs and safe presence. I could live for this a little longer. 

Lover, your hugs get tighter and I feel like a feather around you. I could see you more often than once a week but this adulting thing urgh! But time and distance won't stop us when we have my bottomless creativity and a good dose of your novelty going on. The video calls and phone games mid-week that keep us yearning for the weekend. My stupid reality shows that I struggle to initiate you into but you're being intentionally stubborn. Your gentle goodbye kisses on my dimples that keep me going. 

Partner, I have a million reasons to like you, and to want to love you. Heck, maybe I already do but you know how I don't make the first moves? I'm patient, you better drop the L word or I won't. The way we listen in turns, the warmth of your embrace is very reassuring. My triggers are starting to surface and I wanna run coz when will the other shoe drop? You are not big on trusting, and you're picking me apart to prove yourself right. I sulk for days instead of admitting that I'm hurt. We're used to walking away when people act contrary to our expectations, we bottle our needs and resort to nonchalance. Oh boy, the struggles! 

Soul mate, we tried. It's not been easy but we did it. We chose each other and ran away into our old messed up selves but still turned to each other. We let our guards down and enjoyed the passion and intimacy. We admitted to our flaws, we had difficult conversations and we compromised. We added onto each other's cup of fulfillment and reveled in little pleasures. It's not all popsicles and butterflies right now but are our hearts not full? 

Today I have a bouquet of flowers at your doorstep to celebrate our love, as many as the times I have apologized for wronging you. I'm a woman sweetheart. It's gonna be a bouquet of two.